Rocks

I feel the cold stone ‘neath my toes,
and I feel I exist outside of me,
on the surface of this body they’ll label
“Lydia” and point to once I’m dead.

My eyes close. I stare at my eyelids,
and now I feel I’m inside of me-
Oh help! Please someone,
get me out!

I inside and outside of me…
Is me my body? Then who I am?
Me might be nothing, for that’s what I see
every single time I blink.

I open my eyes and see that my toes
top a frigid, smooth stone
that floats in the middle
of a rising, swelling ocean.

I clench my eyes, trying to crawl right back
inside myself, and I wonder,

where did this rock come from?
And where is it going?
I ask, trying to figure out
if where I am is good.

Refusing to answer, you open my eyes,
finish my blink, and sit me down,
my thigh on the stone,
my toes dangling in the water.

And I still don’t remember where this rock came from,
and I still can’t tell where it’s floating to,

but here and now,
the sea breeze smells like salt.

11 thoughts on “Rocks

  1. When one is burden with feelings like depression or anxiety or constant loneliness, holding all that in is too much.
    When one is gifted with the written word, sharing those feelings with others, helps us all remove the power those feelings have over us.
    You’re truly gifted in sharing real emotions, in their pure forms.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much!

      I’m so glad you’re reading my words- I think they’re beneficial for people to hear, but it’s also very important to me to be listened to! It’s amazing how community or naming or explaining something can help loosen its grip over us. You also are very good at noticing and praising aspects of my work that are most important to me, so I really appreciate that.

      I initially created this blog to “gain a following” and create a portfolio for the sake of publishers, but at this moment when I’m writing less and have already posted my most suitable work, I’m continuing to update the blog because of and for my readers who continue to relate and appreciate, so your comments mean the world!

      In art, you’ve gotta be free with what you say. But in real life, you can’t just say anything at any time to anyone. So I can’t always post in a blanket statement for the entire world the inspiration behind my art, even if I’m okay showing the art itself to the entire world. (I feel this more acutely than others might given my coming from a small town and having a well known family.)

      As you know, I’ve in certain situations felt the need to immediately announce and enforce this boundary between my art and my real life and between myself and people with whom I do not have a close daily relationship, by letting people know not to make assumptions about me or my family based on the art.

      I hope my readers realize, however, that I actually am very happy to relate and connect with people over the subject matter of my poetry to some degree or another, whether its appropriate via private means or public means. And that my actual soul of course pervades my work. I fear I may have come across as too stand-offish regarding the inspiration for my work, which is a bummer, because like I said, it’s community that keeps me posting regularly at this point, and my work is for the people at large. I essentially don’t want people to feel they must assume my work is entirely impersonal to me or to be afraid that I’m always going to bite them with a disclaimer anytime they try to talk personally or specifically about the content of my poetry! And though I’ve also boundaries in place to keep this blog professional, I hope me and my readership can continue to feel a bit more familial!

      So always feel free to share personal stories, engage, or ask questions! I so love your reading!

      Lydia

      Like

  2. Thanks for your comments and I appreciate your work Lydia very much. Looking forward to reading your future… endeavors.

    Like

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